Love, the most common term we hear around us and experience within us. What is love? What exactly is termed as love? What is the cause of it? Is it a consequence or a cause? When you are born, you knew nothing about any emotion or feel around you (except a few like hunger, pain, smiles). But at a certain age, there was a burst of various kinds of emotions and feels in our life, the age where the hormones hijacked our bodies. Until that age, the world we know of was different, but after/during that age, everything and everyone we see and know of is changed. It’s not someone willingly does that, it just happens as a consequence of nature. But after a certain age, when we truly realize some fundamental points in life, we become conscious of those emotions/feels and we take them under control.
What actually cause those emotions? Biologically and chemically, a region just below the hypothalamus and the hypothalamus releases few chemicals, which in turn change the chemical in the body and mind leading them to a hormonal change of life. The release of the hormone called Serotonin in the brain causes happiness within us, the hormone called Oxytocin plays a role in bondage; the chemical dopamine released by the brain is like a reward system which causes happiness and some kind of satisfaction (much like motivation/focus/concentration) to us and many more. If you observe carefully, whatever is happening within you is just a play of chemicals, its much like your body is a cocktail of emotion. Different chemicals get released during different situations of life, and one among them is love.
What is love? Much like why is love? Where is love? Are you referring to love as the person or an emotion? When you are saying you are in search of love, are you searching for the person who causes the chemicals within you to surge, or are you searching for emotion? What are you actually searching for? And what makes you feel satisfied when you find it? Love, an inevitable emotion which is produced inside every being. A love for the planet, a love for the nation, love for a place, a love for a person, a love for a thing. It can happen in many ways. But what exactly is making you feel loved towards it? When you get identified with something , you feel like you possess it, like it is your right to have it. How can you even think of something or someone as yours when they have a life to lead for themselves.? Even your body and mind is not yours; they are just accumulation of earth and actions. What we call memory is nothing but the moments of life which we are carrying with us. You are doing nothing but, identifying yourself with that thing/person. When you love a person, are you loving them wholly or by dissecting them into various categories like, they are good here, they are not good here? What are you even doing to love that person? Should you do anything to love that person?
Loving a person produces some sweetness within you. Only because of that you stick with them. That sweetness within you is being simulated by that person. You are attaching yourself with them. The form of love you are having is some kind of attachmental love. Is it possible to love without attachment? Absolutely. Try observing a leaf or a wall or any object intensely, you automatically feel love towards it. Ever happened to you? You visit a place, where you immediately fell in love with it. What is making you love that place? Is it the landscape or is it the presence of some kind of energy or is it that, visiting that place is causing happiness within you. The same place, if it is dried out or remodeled, you wouldn’t feel the same. Why is it? What made you from having the feel of loving and not feeling loved for it later? Are you specific about that? The same goes for the person (but a bit complex). What made you fall in love with them? What made you “fall”? are you looking at that person as just a person or some other being? What even are you looking at? Are you looking or observing? And why is it needed to even observe something if you love it? What is it you love about them? And why is it that only them?
What is happening there is nothing but an exchange of memories. Not just psychologically but physically. When you met that person, they do something that would increase the happiness “within you”. Happiness just increases everything else, hopes, expectations and anything you could think of. When you’re happy you feel that you can achieve anything. Didn’t you? That happiness being stimulated by them, you feel when they are with you, you could achieve anything you could think of. Are you wanting them as a person or are you wanting them as a tool who would simulate happiness within you? Are you extracting happiness from them and expecting the same with them or are you sharing your happiness? Extracting and exploiting anything/anyone won’t much longer. Let it be a person or the planet. If the feeling of joy and happiness is blooming within you, there is no to extract anything, if you wish to, you could share with a particular person or a group of people or even a thing.
It is because you’re expecting something from them, there are few issues within a relation. If their work doesn’t reach your expectation, you feel low? Didn’t you ever? and one of the major thing why a relation break is due to misunderstanding. If you understood them and listened to them, do you think there would be any conflicts in relation? Here listening doesn’t mean that you should follow what they say, it just means you should pay keen attention towards what they say. Life and relations would be much simpler if people talk with each other instead of against each other.
You love a place, a movie, a show, food, thing, person, just because they produce happiness “within” you. As that would be the major reason why people want to stick on with something or someone. Once you are attached to it, you start to gather memory for a particular thing or person and memories; they are the major reason a physical being exists.
Why you break up, all you’re trying to do is washing away that memory. When you are attached to a person, it’s like you are attaching your memory and life with them, breaking up with that memory is literally tearing up. Your memory and energy, psychologically, physically, mentally was shared with them have been deeply bandied into each other’s lives, such that when you break up, you’re tearing yourself apart. Tearing oneself does hurt a lot. Moreover, to recover from that, one thinks jumping into another relationship immediately. That’s not that solution. When you have dug something deep enough, it’s your ability to respond ~responsibility that you should allow some time so that that area is filled by you again. It was you who dug it, it was you who went there, it was you who came out from that, and how would you expect someone else to come and fill it? When you get a cut on hand, if you have observed, when enough time is given the body heals itself. Don’t you think the same is possible with body once you broke out? Giving yourself enough time to heal, physically, mentally and psychologically would give you a clear view on life. You just need to be patient to allow the body to set itself. Clear confusions are always better than unclear conclusions.
Moving on just doesn’t mean that you have left that person completely with all the hate or whatsoever. You allowed that person to come into your life with love when you allowed him/her, can’t you allow them to leave if they want with the same amount of emotion you have at the beginning? Is it because of the things they have done to/with you that lead to have a different opinion on them? Why is it so? Yes, they did something that hurt you, yes they did something that caused you pain, but why are you getting disturbed internally due to external factors? Why are you allowing those factors affect you? When you allow those factors to affect you, it is you who would be suffering from everything and since you allowed them to affect you, you feel that they are the reason you are suffering. When you are in love, the feel happened within you because you allowed it to happen, but when you are in suffering, why blame them for something which happened within you? Yes, they did speak things, and acted in a way, but why did you yourself allow it to affect them within you? Because of that, the sweetness which was produced “within” you when you are in love with that person, would turn into bitterness within you, which would turn into hate. Didn’t you ever feel that the one you loved the most was the one you hate the most? Let it be a thing or a person.
Love is a human creation, when you are in love, if you look at Taj Mahal, you feel it as a great lovers creation but when you are in hate you look at the same piece as an expensive graveyard. If you look at it without any of them, it’s one of the iconic pieces of architecture. People do many things in the name of love, because of which a word called love is corrupted, and that’s the exact reason why most of the people think love as a sensitive thing to be spoken about. When your emotions are happy you feel loved. There is a dimension beyond human emotions where bliss in one’s life are pure ecstatic. Let the ocean of love flow within you, don’t name it don’t stop it don’t bound it. Just let it flow and look at the world and people the way they are. Love is a powerful tool in a person life, once you know how to use it, you can transcend dimension with the help of it. Do not forget to love yourself, do not diverse yourself from you.